🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. We’re advising all of our clients to invest all their resources into canned food and shotguns.” This nugget of shrewd guidance comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, talking, spectacled member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s simply an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. But, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Honestly, hear me out.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. Indeed, a large portion of the fang-bearing creatures that inhabit Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the blurry line separating the mundane and pure pandemonium. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the underlying idea that resonates the most.

A Youthful Fixation

Naturally, my connection with this movie wasn’t born on such an introspective level. Growing up, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve probably bought from an independent video outlet and featuring snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an practically routine part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the accolades, thanks primarily due to its reputation as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. That said, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of elevated esteem, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my mental framework. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Subtler Delights and Societal References

As I got older, new revelations rewarded multiple watches, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his second wife Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was modeled after a genuine “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the actual feature in progress. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each offering a winking bit of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.

A Lasting Legacy

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure held my interest as an adult. In time, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the express purpose of ridiculing those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This Looney Tunes-esque rebelliousness and determination to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I went through a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my deepest grief, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Maybe not. The nostalgic calm it provided was essential to weaken my mind’s mourning mire – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just cannot manage. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: embrace the chaos, put everything you’ve got into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.